Fallout
by howzitthen
Summary: Last night, Nick got an eyeful of something he didn't like. Intentions aside, how will he deal with Jess (and more importantly, himself) going forward.
1. Chapter 1

**_Takes place in the not so distant future. The only thing that's different from where the show currently stands (3x6) is that Schmidt isn't leaving the loft. Chapter 1 is a little light on the comedy, but it's sort of a table setter. Also, it's been a long, long while since I've really written anything, other than my little script things here. Hopefully I don't toggle tenses or POV too much while I get back in the swing. Thank you, as always, for taking the time._**

Winston moved slowly down the hall, shaking the previous night's sleep from his head. He pulled the collar of his grey t-shirt and wiped his eyes, yawing widely. As he approached the kitchen, he wasn't surprised to see Schmidt already up, hard at work on his breakfast.

"Smells good, whatcha got cooking, Schmidt?"

"Oh, just the usual. Egg white omelet with blanched spinach, burst cherry tomatoes, and aged feta. Would you like some?"

"Sure man, I was just gonna snag some Corn Pops, but that sounds… better. We got any coffee?"

"Please. Part soy vanilla latte, Winston. Beans imported from the Poissy region of France. Only the best."

Schmidt pulled a tiny cup from the cabinet and poured Winston a small serving of the latte and set it down on the island. Winston rolled his eyes as he took a seat. Schmidt wiped his hands on the yellow apron he donned before taking it off and hanging back on a hook in the wall. He smoothed out the wrinkles on his green V-neck before grabbing the large frying pan and plating the omelets for he and Winston. He brought the plates over to the island, and sat down across the island from his roommate.

"So. Any word from…" Schmidt asked, gesturing to Jess' room.

"Not a peep. At least not since we got back last night."

"Well, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe they just… went to sleep."

Winton raised his eyebrows and gave Schmidt a skeptical look.

"I don't know," he said. "I hope you're right. But… but what if they didn't? What if they don't figure this out?"

Schmidt just sighed, shook his head, and took a bite of his omelet. After a second, he put his fork down and pushed his plate way.

"Then… then things could get bad."

Winston took a sip of his latte before furrowing his brow and looking at Schmidt.

"I thought you were against this? I thought you wanted them to break up?"

"I did. But…," Schmidt tailed off, looking down. "Well, you know what I've been going through with Cece and Elizabeth. And you know I… I can be a little selfish sometimes."

"You're kidding."

"It was just kind of hard to watch the two of them starting out while I was messing things up with two great women."

Schmidt looked back up at Winston, and gestures toward Jess' room.

"I just don't want either of them to mess things up as badly as I did."

Winston nodded stoically, and took another sip of his coffee. He paused for a moment, thinking.

"Well. Maybe it's good that what happened is out in the open. Maybe they can talk about it, get it all out there, and move forward. Hell, maybe they already did. Maybe Nick's in there snoring away, and Jess is sleep talking about kittens and rainbows as we speak."

Schmidt shrugged and nodded.

"I hope you're right, man. Because if you're not… things could get bad. Really bad."

In her room, Jess sat Indian style on her bed, her blue dress from the night before spread out over her legs. Some time ago, she'd pulled her multi-colored afghan from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. Her eyes, red from hours of on and off crying, followed Nick as he silently paced around her room. He hadn't looked at her in nearly an hour, and hadn't spoken in even longer than that.

"Nick, can you say something," she barely whispered.

Nick stopped pacing, but didn't turn to face her. He groaned and started massaging his temples with the palms of his hands.

"I'm not sure what's left to say, Jess. We've been at this for hours. I don't know, I think everything's been said."

"Nick, we haven't slept in over 24 hours. Can't we just… sleep on it a little? Maybe a little rest will help us see things a little more clearly."

Nick stopped rubbing his head, and thoughtfully looked in Jess' direction, careful not to make eye contact.

"That might not be a terrible idea," he said. "I'm pretty beat. Might not be thinking as straight as normal."

Jess exhaled deeply. She quickly wiped her eyes and began to move to the right side of her bed.

"Thank you, Nick. I think we really just need to get a little rest. Things will seem different in a few…."

She looked up at Nick, surprised that he hadn't moved, and still hadn't looked at her.

"Nick, what…"

"I'm not going to sleep here Jess. I just… I can't."

Jess stifled a gasp and sat in silence. She shut her eyes in and reflexive attempt to stop the tears from falling.

"Nick?"

"You kissed another man, Jess."

Jess gulped and opened her eyes wide. Her stalling tactic had failed as her blue eyes overflowed with new tears.

"Nick, I told you. He kissed me. He kissed me, I didn't want to kiss him."

"Yeah, but you didn't stop him, did you?"

"But I did!"

"Not from where I was standing," Nick said, turning and finally looking Jess in the eye. His own eyes were red and swollen. And angry. "I got an eyeful, Jess. And it didn't look like you seemed to mind. At all."

"Nick, I was surprised! It took me a second to… to react. I'm sorry."

"Yeah yeah yeah, Jess. That's what you keep telling me."

"Why don't you believe me? Huh?" Jess got off the bed and walked slowly towards Nick, lowering her voice as she spoke. "You know me Nick. You know this… you know I'm the last person who would ever, ever do anything like…"

"Like what, Jess," Nick snapped. "Like… kiss another guy while your boyfriend is just a few feet away. As if _that's_ never happened before."

The air went out of Jess' body as she took a half step back, as if she received a physical blow. Nick turned his eyes away, unable to face her.

"I… I can't believe…," Jess squeaked out. "I can't believe you would use us, compare us… to what happened last night. "

Jess turned away and slowly sat back down from the bed, facing the opposite direction of Nick. She inhaled deeply as the tears silently streamed down her face. She sat silently for a few moments.

"I think maybe you should go," she finally whispered.

"Look, Jess," Nick started. The anger was gone from his voice, replaced by sadness and regret. "Maybe I… I shouldn't have taken it… there. But you have to understand. I know… firsthand… how hard it is to resist kissing you."

Jess sniffed away some tears as her body straightened up.

"Jess," Nick continued. "I don't think you understand how beautiful you are. Guys are going to want to be around you, to kiss you, and…"

"You don't… trust me?"

Nick walked around to Jess' side of the bed, and knelt in front of her. He brushed some hair out of her face, and let his hand linger on her cheek for a moment before reaching down and gathering her hands in his.

"Jess. That was just so hard to see. I felt… just… as bad as I've ever felt about anything. Look, I'm still shaking a little bit from it. It's not that I don't trust you. I don't know, maybe it's a little bit that I don't really trust anyone. But Jess… you terrify me. "

Jess looked down at Nick, holding her breath.

"Nick, I…"

"I've spent the last three years trying not to let anyone hurt me. And I've failed at every turn. Caroline, Julia, Angie. They all hurt me, Jess. But put all that hurt together, multiply it by 1000, and it still doesn't come close to the hurt I felt last night when I saw you kissing that guy. That smart, wealthy, good looking guy."

"I'm sorry, Nick. Like I've been saying…"

"Jess. I just… I don't know if I can deal with that kind of pain again."

"I didn't mean to…"

"I know you didn't mean it, Jess. But here we are."

Nick dropped her hands and slowly stood up. He smiled a humorless smile, and leaned forward, placing a small hiss on the top of her head.

"I think it's time for us to sleep. I think… I think it's time. "

Nick slowly started to walk toward the door, stepping over Jess' shoes and his discarded flannel as he did so. Jess anxiously listened on.

"I think we should take a day or two. Calm down a bit. See things through a different lens."

"Nick," Jess said as he reached for the door handle.

"Yeah, Jess?"

"We're going to be okay, right? I mean, this… this can't be what…"

"I don't know, Jess. I hope so. But…."

He just offered a small smile and opened the door. As he set foot in the hallway, he turned back one last time.

"Goodnight, Jess."

He softly closed the door, and Jess was alone.

"Goodnight, Nick."

Nick stepped out into the hallway and walked over to the door to his room. He put his hand on the doorknob, but didn't open the door. Instead, he rested his forehead on the door and closed his eyes. He didn't hear Winston approach.

"Hey, man," Winston said, cautiously.

"Hey, pal," Nick replied, composing himself.

"How you doing? How's Jess?"

"I… guess…," Nick said, looking at Jess' door. "I guess I can't say."

"Look, Nick. You know Jess. You know she didn't mean it. That dude was just…"

"Yeah, I know, Winston. I know."

"So… what's up? What are you going to do?"

Nick squinted and reached up to rub his neck with the back of neck.

"I'm going to go to sleep," he said. "And I …. I kinda feel like I owe Dr. Sam a big apology."

"Dr. Sam?" Winston asked, confused.

"Nothing, man. Just talking nonsense. I need sleep. Goodnight, pal."

"Alright, man. Sleep well."

Nick muttered his thanks as slipped into his room and shut the door behind him. Winston turned, pausing a moment to look at Jess' door, and walked back toward the living room where Schmidt was sitting on the sectional, waiting.

"So, how's he doing? What's up?"

Winton sat down before shrugging and looking at Schmidt.

"I don't know, man. But… it doesn't look good. I mean, this is Nick we're talking about. Never been the most secure guy in the world."

"Well, can you blame him in this case? I mean, you saw the other guy right?"

"Yeah. Looked like an underwear model. You know, if I noticed that sort of thing."

"Please, Winston. You sell the guy short. He's no mere underwear model. Armani, perhaps. Prada. That sort of thing."

Schmidt looked down and paused a moment before turning back to Winston.

"Really, really want to know where he got that blazer he was wearing. Winston, do you think Nick would mind if I looked him up? Got a few tips, a few recommendations. My fall wardrobe is seriously lacking at the moment, and I think this year I could really…."

Winston just stared blankly at Schmidt, shaking his head.

"You're right. No, no. You're right," Schmidt relented. After a brief pause, he continued. "So. Things aren't looking…"

"They're looking kind of bad Schmidt. From what I saw, they're looking kind of bad."

The two roommate sat quietly on the couch, each looking towards the hallway between Nick and Jess' rooms.

"Man, I hope they figure it out," Schmidt said, before getting up and walking towards his room, leaving Winston alone on the couch.

"Me too, man."


	2. Chapter 2

**One of the things I kinda liked most about the show, especially in the heart of last season, was that we were never truly 100% sure where the characters were coming from until they literally told us on screen. I've tried to sort of mimic that in my scripts/stories. However, it seems obvious that (at least in the 'story' format) it's probably going to go down a little smoother if we get in their heads a bit. So they'll be a little bit more of that this time around, and going forward. I've also tried to slip a little more humor in there this time. But that, of course, is subjective. Thanks to all who take the time to read, and especially those who review/follow, etc. So very, very cool of you all.**

Nick had unsuccessfully tried for several hours to get some sleep. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor, doing the math. He figured that it had been a little over six weeks since he had gone to bed without Jess by his side. He considered that as he looked out his window and noticed the sun had already begun it's descent. In a little over an hour, he was going to have to go in for his Saturday shift at the bar. Back to the scene of the crime, he thought. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, deciding that the sleep he was looking for simply wasn't coming. He walked over to his writing desk and picked up a grey towel that had been hanging off the back of the chair and threw it over his shoulder. As he did so, a soft knock came at the door. He looked at the door, expectantly, not really knowing who he wanted it to be on the other side. As he slowly cracked it open, he was simultaneously relieved and disappointed to find Schmidt standing on the other side.

"Hey, man," Schmidt said. Just wanted to let you know it's safe to come out."

"Schmidt, what are you…"

"Coast is clear. Jess took off a few minutes ago."

Nick exhaled slowly, again, both relieved and a little disappointed.

"Do you… do know where she went?"

"Well, she didn't say," Schmidt replied, as a slightly embarrassed look passed over his face. "So I'm guessing she went to see Cece."

"Makes sense."

Nick stepped out of his room and started moving towards the kitchen, Schmidt on his heels.

"So, how you doing with this whole… thing."

"Fine, Schmidt. I'm an adult. I'm fine."

"Really? Because you don't really seem fine."

"I don't seem fine? Well, what do I seem, Schmidt?"

"Well, I would have to say you seem decidedly not fine. Un-fine. You look… you look like you need a hug. I'm going to give you a hug."

"Schmidt, don't…," Nick started, but it was too late. Schmidt was in, tightly enveloping him. Too tired to fight, Nick just went limp, and waited for it to pass.

Schmidt finally released him, stepped back, and smiled proudly.

"See, now don't you feel better?"

"Would you believe me if I said 'no'?"

Winston's voice came from the hallway, surprising both of them.

"Whoa, whoa. Don't mean to interrupt anything, but…"

"Very funny," Nick said, wiping his face with his towel.

"So. You manage to get any shut eye?" Winston asked, joining them in the kitchen.

"No. Not really. But it won't be the first time I've gone into work on zero sleep. Customers love it, too. I get a little loose with my pours. Everyone goes home happy."

"Nice to see you're thinking positively," Schmidt said. "What's our plan, Winston? Couple of single fellows on a Saturday night."

"Well, I was just going order in some Chinese and catch up on Downton Abby. You know, just chill with the cat. But if you guys are up for something, I'm game."

"Well, I have to work…," Nick started.

"Good one, pal," Schmidt interrupted. "Winston, let's do it. Back in the saddle. Nick, we'll be there with bells on."

Nick sighed and shuffled off towards the shower.

"Can't wait," he muttered.

* * *

Cece opened the door to her apartment to find a frazzled Jess standing before her, dressed in green and white polka dotted pajamas and her violet pea coat, her oversized glasses hanging from her nose.

"Jess, you look… like you haven't slept in days."

"That's because I haven't slept in days. Is it alright if I come in and die for a little while?" she asked, sliding past Cece and making her way to the couch.

Cece closed the door and followed. Jess took off her coat and dropped it to the floor, shook off her slippers, and fell face first into the couch. Cece gathered her coat, hung it over a nearby chair and kicked the slippers under the coffee table.

"So. Seems safe to assume that Nick took things about as well as one would imagine Nick to take things?"

"I don't get it, Cece," Jess mumbled into the couch. "I didn't do anything wrong."

Cece walked over to the couch and sat at Jess' feet.

"First of all, I'm going to need you to take your face out of the couch. For one thing, I can't hear you. For another, this is where Nadia likes to 'entertain' her… you know… gentleman guests. And I use the word 'gentlemen', very, very loosely… no pun intended."

Jess slowly raised her head from the couch and sat up, holding a nauseous expression on her face.

"Why is he being like this, Cece? Things were going so, so good."

Cece looked sadly at her friend, thinking of something to say. She reached her arm around Jess and pulled her in for a half hug. Jess rested her head on Cece's shoulder and shut her eyes. They sat for a few moments, and Jess felt less on edge than she had in hours. Cece wondered if she'd fallen asleep until Jess broke the silence.

"What am I gonna do? How can I fix this when I didn't even do anything wrong?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Jess. It's those boys from 4-D. They are a whole different class of idiot."

Jess stifled a chuckle before raising her head from Cece's shoulder and looking at her friend.

"I'm sorry, I just come in here with my problems and you… How are you doing?"

"Jess, please. I welcome the opportunity to focus on someone else's problems for a bit. I just wish they weren't yours."

"I wish I could understand him. Why is he so upset?"

"Well… that guy last night was all kinds of handsome, Jess. Tall, rich, well dressed. Handsome. Suave, intelligent… handsome."

"You said handsome already."

"It bears repeating," Cece replied. Jess just shrugged as Cece squinted her eyes and pursed her lips. "Are you saying… you didn't think that guy was attractive?"

"Yeah, I guess, he was fine. That's not the…"

"Jess, that man was not 'fine'. I am a model. I work with male models daily. That guy was… how do I put this… glorious. Beautiful. Like, I'm not really convinced if he was real or some figment of my imagination."

"Well, I wish he would've just kissed you, then."

"That makes two of us. You really didn't think he was anything special?"

"Yeah, he was cute. So?"

"I'm telling you, he was more than 'cute', Jess."

"Fine, but what does that…"

"What does that matter? To a guy like Nick? Please. I'm no amateur psychologist, but that boy has some serious self-esteem issues. Bordering on self-sabotage."

Jess sighed heavily and slumped back into the couch. She brought here knees up to her chest and hugged them. She sullenly looked down, tears of exhaustion building at the edges of her eyes.

"I don't get it, Cece. Why can't he just trust me? "

"I don't have the answer, Jess. But… do you remember the last time you showed up at my doorstep, ranting and raving about being kissed by someone… unexpected?"

"That was different, Cece! That was…"

Cece raised her eyebrows high, waiting for Jess to finish her thought. But Jess just shook her head and repeated herself.

"That was just… different."

Cece frowned and looked at her friend, traces of disappointment on her face. After a moment, she smiled and stood up.

"Look, the girls are working tonight. Some up and coming indie band, so they're shooting at some club and will be home late. We have the place to ourselves. I don't suppose you've eaten in the last 24 hours?"

"Not really."

"Okay, then. You get a little shut eye, and in a bit, I'll go pick us up some food. Sound good?"

Jess grabbed a throw pillow from the end of the couch and tossed it down. She stretched her small frame out across the couch and laid her head on the pillow.

"I guess I could try to nap for a bit. Really don't feel like being home right now. Not sure I'll be getting any sleep, though."

Cece went to the kitchen and poured Jess a glass of water. By the time she got back to the couch, Jess was already asleep. Cece placed the glass on the coffee table and grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch, and placed it over her friend.

* * *

Nick ran a towel over the bar and slapped two Heislers down in front of Schmidt and Winston. He then reached under the bar and quickly snuck a sip from his own beer before tucking it back in its' hiding spot. He glanced around the bar, noting that it was pretty quiet for a Saturday night. And that stood in contrast to the less than quiet Friday night he had experienced less than 24 hours ago. He looked over toward the booth where it happened. Tonight, it was occupied by a pair of middle aged women, catching over white wine spritzers. Last night, it had been occupied by that tall handsome stranger that had taken it upon himself to ruin Nick's life. He couldn't get the image out of his head. All he could see was that freaking Adonis with his face pressed against Jess'. Nick tried to replay the incident in his head, as painful as it was, focusing on the aftermath. As he had approached the table, Jess has quickly slipped out of the booth and stood up, a stunned and sad look in her blue eyes, eyes that immediately met Nick's gaze. What he couldn't remember was which came first: Jess bailing on the kiss, or Jess seeing Nick arrive. What he couldn't remember was….

"Where are all the women tonight? It's time for Schmitty to get back in the game," Schmidt said.

Nick rubbed his forehead, and gladly let his train of thought drift off the tracks. He stole another sip from his beer before answering Schmidt.

"I dunno, man. Just one of those nights, I guess."

"Well, this just will not do," Schmidt said. "Right Winston? Two single, eligible men in the primes of their lives, and here we are, rotting away like discarded… apple cores."

"That's damn poetic, Schmidt," Winston said. "I thought Nick was the writer."

Nick shook his head and grabbed a fresh towel from under the bar, throwing in over his red flannel clad shoulder. A young man approached the far side of the bar, and he went over to tend to him, leaving Schmidt and Winston to themselves. Winston slaps Schmidt in the arm.

"Hey, we're here for Nick, man. We gotta make sure he's in an okay place, remember? Make sure he doesn't start thinking too much."

"You're right, you're right. Last thing we need if for him to overthink this whole mess. I mean, this is Jess, right?"

"Yeah, and there's no way she meant anything by that kiss. I take her at her word, 100%. No way she's the cheating… type…"

Winston didn't catch his words in time. He lowered his eyes, took a sip from his beer, and tried to act like he hadn't noticed the look of shame that crossed Schmidt's face. They were both relieved when Nick returned with a scowl on his face.

"I don't know what's gotten into these college guys, man. In our day, it was simple: cheapest beer on the menu, and maybe a shot of Old Crow. These kids today and their microbrews and girly shots…," he paused as he noticed the awkwardness in the air. "What's… what's going on guys?"

Just as got the words out, Nick's phone went off in his pants pocket. He pulled it out, and frowned when he looked at the display. He looked to Schmidt and Winston.

"It's my mom. I gotta…"

Nick answered the phone and walked toward the quieter end of the bar. Winston and Schmidt looked at each other, then back at Nick. They couldn't hear what he was saying, but as he spoke, he furrowed his brow in confusion. He didn't do much talking. After a few moments, he nodded his head, said goodbye, and clicked his phone closed. He walked back towards Winston and Schmidt.

"That was weird."

"Everything alright?" Winston asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Nothing bad or anything like that, it's just..."

Nick's eyes got wide as he tailed off. He looked at Schmidt, trying to warn him with his eyes. Curious, Schmidt and Winston turned to see what had alarmed Nick so much. Schmidt about knocked his beer off the bar when he laid his eyes on Cece, in jeans and a baggy red sweater, marching right towards him, with purpose.

"Okay. We need to talk," she said firmly as she neared the bar.

"Cece, I…," Schmidt began, completely unprepared.

"Not you," Cece said, not bothering to look at Schmidt. She reached across the bar and poked Nick in the chest, hard. "I need to talk to you. Now."


	3. Chapter 3

**So, Nick and Cece. Very, very little on-screen interaction in the actual series, so really not much to go on there. I've always felt they'd be a great comic tandem, but this really isn't the time and place for that. Confession: still not 100% where this is going, but it's coming together more and more as I go along. And I really can't say it enough: thanks for commenting, following, and honestly just for reading. **

"Cece, I'm at work," Nick said, flatly. "I know you all laugh at this job, but still… I just can't leave."

Cece looked around the bar and saw that, while it wasn't particularly busy, there were enough customers present that Nick really couldn't just pick up and leave.

"Fine. Maybe you can't leave… but they can," she said, gesturing to Winston and Schmidt.

Nick realized there was little point in fighting the inevitable. He wasn't ready to talk to anybody about things, let alone Cece. But he knew Cece had talked to Jess, and that alone was persuasive.

"Go on, guys," Nick said. "Like you said, this isn't exactly the hot spot it was last night anyway. Go find yourselves a club, go play with the cat… whatever."

Winston and Schmidt looked at each other, then back at Nick. It was clear Cece wasn't going to be denied. It was also clear that Schmidt was starting to sweat, and getting out of Cece's airspace would probably benefit him as well.

"You sure?" Winston asked. "We can just go grab a booth…"

"Get outta here," Nick answered. "We'll be fine."

Schmidt and Winston gathered their jackets, and slipped them on. Schmidt never took his eyes off Cece, and she never laid her eyes on him.

"OK, Nick. We'll be at the loft if you need us," Winston said. "See you around, Cece."

"Goodbye, Winston," Cece replied, staring at Nick.

Nick watched his roommates leave the bar. As he watched, he tried to brace himself for what he assumed was going to be one hell of a tongue lashing. Closing his eyes, he turned his body to face Cece.

"Alright, listen up, I'm only…" she started.

"How is she?" Nick interrupted. "How is Jess. Is she okay? How does she look? That's a stupid, she always looks great. What is she…?" Nick trailed off, surprised by his own outburst.

"Why don't you call her and find out, you idiot? What is wrong with you?"

"Who the hell was that guy? Who was he?"

"It doesn't matter, Nick. But for the record, I don't know, and honestly, I don't think Jess knows, either. That's how little she thought of him. Don't ask me how, because that man was a specimen..."

"Thanks for that."

"…but she didn't even notice. Are you hearing me, you jackass? She just thought he was kind of a nice guy."

Nick stared at Cece and slowly registered what she was saying. Nick squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, and shook his head.

"You say that, but I saw…"

"What did you see?" Cece interrupted. "What did you actually see? Because I think you saw a guy kissing your girlfriend, and…" Cece's face fell slightly as she continued. "…and you freaked. You saw that fine, fine man with his hands in her hair and his lips on her face, and you freaked… and… and…"

"And what, Cece? I saw a man kissing Jess, and I can't even begin to tell you all the bad that started coming out of me."

"And that part's okay. That part I can understand. You have no idea how much I can understand."

Nick's eyes softened as he remembered who he was talking to. He sighed and frowned slightly, realizing he was complaining to the absolute wrong person.

"Cece, I…"

"No. This is not about that," Cece said, shaking her head. "You were allowed to feel hurt and confused when you saw what you saw. But then you went home. With Jess. _ You _went home with _Jess_. You went home with Jess, and she told you what happened. She told you what happened, and you didn't believe her. That is what's killing her right now. That's why she hasn't slept or eaten in 2 days, and that's why I'm going to have to kick your ass if you don't wake the hell up!"

Nick swallowed hard and looked away. A few of the bar patrons had taken notice of their conversation, and had started staring and whispering. Nick gave a cursory wave around the bar to let everyone know there wasn't a problem before returning his attention to Cece.

"She's… really that upset?" Nick asked.

"This is really something the two of you should discuss, but… yes. She's really confused, Nick. She doesn't think she did anything wrong. Probably because she didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah, but that's easy for her to say. How do you think she would've taken it if it were me planting one on some other gorgeous woman? How do you think…"

"Yeah, you're going to want to go ahead and make sure that never happens. If you know what's good for you."

"Right, like I could ever…"

Cece tilted her head and raised her eyebrows as Nick tailed off. After a moment, she gestured with her hands, trying to coax him to continue.

"Like you could ever…what?"

"Forget it," Nick said, shaking here off.

"Well crap," Cece said as she rolled her eyes. "Maybe the two of you are meant for each other."

"What does that…"

"Just… talk to Jess. Talk to your girlfriend. I know how you think, and I know how you can't help but ruin the good things that come into your life. But it doesn't have to be that way. Not with Jess. She really…. it just … doesn't have to be that way. It's your choice, Nick. You can let this be more than it needs, or…?"

"…or?" Nick said, hesitantly, not sure if he wanted to hear what Cece had to say.

"Or you can start to grow up."

Cece let her words hang for a moment, hoping they would sink in. Nick rubbed the back of his neck as he looked past Cece. After another beat, she waved her hand in front of Nick's face to get his attention.

"Hey. Let's face it, Nick. You're never going to find another Jess."

Nick again wiped his face with the towel before looking Cece in the eye.

"I know. I know."

Cece let he posture settle a bit as she took a half step back from the bar. She wasn't relishing this as much as she'd expected. She had Jess' back, pretty much unconditionally, but she could also see where Nick would be struggling. Communication was clearly a grind for both of them, but with so much at stake, all she could do was hope one of them would step up.

"Good. Glad we have an understanding," she said as she pushed up the sleeves of her sweater. "Okay, I told her I was going to go find her some food. She hasn't really eaten much, and I somehow doubt the celery, pine nuts, and vodka we have at the apartment is going to suffice tonight."

"Slappy's is probably still open," Nick said, glancing at the clock. "You should get the spinach artichoke thin crust. Add diced tomatoes and feta. It's her favorite."

Cece smiled sadly before turning to leave.

"You guys really need to… Just call her. Okay? Call her, tell her to come home. Work it out."

Nick sighed and watched as Cece left the bar.

"Wish it was that easy," he muttered.

* * *

When Cece got home, she found Jess sprawled out on the couch, flipping through one of her roommate's style magazines.

"Hey Jess, I got some pizza."

"Cool, cool. I'm just looking through one of your magazines. What do you think about this jacket?"

Cece set the pizza down on the coffee table and took a look at the magazine Jess was showing her. Cece nodded and smiled.

"Oh, that's cute. I think you could pull that off."

"Me too! Small caveat: it apparently costs $1,400. Doesn't seem like the wisest way to spend money."

Cece laughed as she grabbed a couple of plates from the kitchen.

"No, I suppose not."

"The wool hat she's wearing is only $400, though. So maybe I can start saving up."

Jess sat up to make room for Cece on the couch. Cece handed Jess a plate and a bottle of water she had tucked under her arm. She opened the pizza box and sat down.

"So… did you get any sleep at all?"

"A little bit," Jess said. "I can see why Nadia makes good use of this couch. It's surprisingly comfortable."

"Guess I've never looked at it quite like that before."

Cece pulled out a slice of pizza, letting the cheese stretch to its breaking point before dropping it on Jess' plate. She then repeated the process for herself. Jess sat quietly for a moment, not showing much interest in the pizza. Cece took a few quick bites before noticing.

"What's wrong, Jess? You know, I normally wouldn't eat this sort of stuff, but this is actually enough to make me reconsider."

Jess just sat a moment, staring at her pizza.

"Slappy's, huh? Spinach and artichoke? Add tomato and feta?"

Cece chewed and shrugged.

"Sounded good."

"I'll bet. So, how was Nick?"

Cece shut her eyes and dropped her plate to her lap. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and moved the plate to the coffee table.

"I'm sorry, Jess, but you know me. I had to say something. I had to talk to him. Couldn't just sit by and watch the two of you…"

"No, Cece. How was he? How did he seem?

"Oh… I…uh… honestly he seemed pretty down."

Jess shifted in her seat. She set her plate on the armrest of the couch before adjusting her glasses.

"He… he did?"

"Yeah, Jess. Of course he did. What did you expect?"

"I don't know. I guess I don't know what to expect from him, period. Not after last night."

"He's obviously bothered by it. I'd say more confused than anything, really."

"Well, that makes two of us. God, this is so stupid," Jess said, getting to her feet. She took a few steps behind the couch and started pacing aimlessly.

"Jess, I think you should really eat something."

"Why is this so hard, Cece? Is it him? Is it me? Is it us?"

"I don't know. I think it's a little bit… both? Neither of you are really open with your feelings these days. It's no surprise. His guard is up, your guard is up."

Jess continued pacing, biting at her thumbnail. Cece got up and walked over to her, and put her hands on her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks.

"Jess. I think he just needed a little time. Maybe he needs a little more, who knows. But he'll come around."

"Do you really think that?"

"I do. I really do. In fact, I'll bet you hear from him soon. Tonight, even."

Jess took a deep breath. She pressed her lips together and gave a little nod.

"You're probably right," Jess said.

"I almost always am," Cece smiled. "Now come on, the pizza's getting cold."

"It's better cold," Jess shrugged, as they sat back down on the couch.

* * *

A few hours later, Jess lay awake on Cece's bed, Cece asleep beside her. She lay on her side, facing away from Cece, checking her phone every few minutes to make sure of the time. She had hoped to have already heard from Nick, but it wasn't late enough that she'd given up hope. She toyed with the idea of just calling him. She was hesitant, not because she was worried about coming off as desperate, but because she truly wanted to give him his space. And she felt, on some level, that it was her fault. She hadn't wanted to kiss the guy from the bar, but she had allowed him to sit with her, and she had entertained what she had assumed was his harmless flirtation. And it had resulted in her laying awake in Cece's bed instead of sleeping soundly beside Nick in her own. She was thinking of just that when the text from Nick asking if she could talk came across the display of her phone.

Jess got out of bed as gently and quietly as possible, careful not to wake Cece. She tiptoed to the bedroom door, cracked it, and peaked through to make sure the coast was clear. Seeing nobody in the living room, she stepped through the door, closed it softly behind her, and dialed Nick.

"Jess?"

"Hey, Nick. It's… it's me."

"Hey. Um… how… how's it going?"

"It's going… I guess."

"Look, Jess. I know it's late, so I won't keep you. I just… I just didn't want to not talk to you tonight. I know things are weird right now. But I just didn't want to not… talk."

"I know what you mean. I'm glad you texted."

"Did you and Cece have fun today?"

"Well, I wouldn't call anything about today 'fun'. But it was good to spend some time with her. How 'bout you? How was work?"

"Pretty slow night, all in all. Cece paid me a visit."

"Yeah. I heard about that. I want you to know that I didn't put her up to that."

"No, I didn't think..."

"Nick?"

"Jess, I'm sorry. This is just… I really just wanted to call and say goodnight. I don't know if I would've been able to sleep if I hadn't talked to you."

With that, Jess could feel much of the tension in her neck and shoulders lessen. She breathed in deeply, and paused a moment before answering.

"I think I know what you mean," she finally said.

"Good. Do you… know when you plan on coming home?"

"Just tomorrow sometime. Late morning, early afternoon. Why?"

"Just wondering when we could get together to, you know, talk. I actually have some errands to run in the afternoon, but I really, really want to talk."

"I know what you mean."

"OK, good. Well… I know it's late. Kind of silly to talk on the phone like this, but I just… I just wanted to hear your voice, you know? I've kind of gotten used to hearing it."

"Well… I'm glad. I'm glad I got to hear your voice, too, Nick. And I look forward to… talking tomorrow."

They didn't speak for quite a few moments, each trying to think of something to say to prolong their talk, but each feeling too self-conscious to commit to furthering a conversation that would be better left to be had in person. Jess finally broke the silence.

"Wow, it is getting really late."

"I know, Jess. I'm sorry, I just… here, let's both get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"So… goodnight, Jess. Sleep well."

"You too, Nick. Goodnight."

Jess held the phone to her ear for a few moments, staying on the line before half-heartedly sliding her thumb over the surface of the phone, ending the call.


	4. Chapter 4

Nick awoke the next morning to find himself in the clothes he wore to work the night before. While his phone call with Jess hadn't actually resolved anything, it had enabled him to get his first solid sleep in days. He reached over to his nightstand to grab for his phone and see what time is was. As did so, he noted the half full Heisler that rested on the table. Before bed, he had anticipated that he still might've needed a bit of a "sleep aid" to fall asleep. The fact that he barely got two sips into his beer seemed evidence to the contrary.

He flipped open the phone and frowned to find that it was already nearly noon. For once, he actual did have some Sunday errands to run, and he was hoping he could at least see Jess before doing so. He wondered if she had found her way back to the loft yet as he sat up in bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He stood up and slowly made his way to the door before anxiously opening it and noting, with some disappointment, that Jess' door was still half-open, just as it was when he went bed, indicating that she was not yet home. He took a few steps toward the kitchen before he heard the sound of keys jingling outside the apartment door. He held his breath, wishing he'd have gotten up earlier, giving him a chance to make himself more presentable.

Nick was again met with disappointment when Schmidt, not Jess, flung the door open and stepped through, carrying a pair of grocery bags under each arm.

"Nick, little help," he said, struggling with the bags.

"What do you have going on her, pal? Are you planning a dinner party you didn't tell me about?"

"No, Nicholas," Schmidt said as they made their way to the kitchen. "I just know a good deal when I see one. That organic market down the street had some real steals this morning."

"What organic market?"

"You know, about a quarter-mile down, by the thing," Schmidt continued as he and Nick started removing heads of lettuce, carrots, apples, oranges, and other assorted fruits and vegetables from the bags.

"No, I don't know," Nick said, shaking his head. "Wait a minute. Organic market? Do you mean those kids that sell stuff out of the back of their Astro-van, Schmidt?

"Don't be silly…. It was a U-Haul. And what does that matter anyway, look at all this fresh, homegrown, organic goodness."

"Fresh, organic… Schmidt! You got these out of a dirty truck from a couple of teenagers. What, it there a local 4H club I'm not aware of in this neighborhood?"

"I don't see where you're going with this."

"Schmidt," Nick said, holding up a bunch of bananas. "Look. These bananas have Chiquita stickers on them. The apples say Dole. Those radishes have rubber bands with the name "Ralph's" on them."

"And your point is?"

"My point is that you got a steal, alright. You just weren't the only one."

Schmidt took half a step back and examined the produce. He ran his fingers through his hair as the realization of what Nick said dawned on him.

"Aw, crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"Relax man, it's not the end of the world. You know, this stuff actually looks pretty good."

"Yeah, but…"

"Whoa, where'd the grocery store come from?" Winston said as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Schmidt got a great deal down at the Organic Market, right Schmidt?" Nick said, encouragingly.

"Yeah, um. Great deal. Produce for all."

"Oh, those kids in the van," Winston said on his way to the fridge. "They got some good deals. I bout about 3 dozen pair of boxers from them a little while back for a real, real nice price."

Winston grabbed a yogurt from the fridge and plucked a spoon from the drawer. As he started spooning the yogurt into his face, he realized that Nick and Schmidt were just standing, staring at him.

"What? It's not like they were used. They were unopened."

"What do you need with 36 pairs of under-… nope, don't want to know, forget I asked," Schmidt said, before returning his attention to the food on the kitchen island.

"On that note, I gotta get ready to go. Big day of erranding," Nick said, turning toward the shower.

"Not a word," Schmidt said.

"What you got going on today?" Winston asked.

"Oh, this and that. Got a doctor's appointment."

"You have a doctor's appointment?" Schmidt asked incredulously. "You? On a Sunday?"

"What, it's when my guy is working."

"Your guy? Since when do you have a guy?" Winston asked, chuckling.

"What? I got a guy. And then I have some other things..."

"What's wrong? Is it… is it a goiter?" Schmidt asked, touching his neck.

"No, I don't have a damn goiter," Nick said, reflexively grabbing his own neck.

"Oh, okay. It's just that you've looked a little extra… you know… jowly lately."

"Jowl-… nope. Not doing this. I got too much on my plate today. No time to get into with you clowns," Nick said before heading off towards the bathroom.

"Just so long as one of those things on your plate is getting things straight with our other roommate," Schmidt said, looking down.

Nick stopped and turned to answer. "That is most certainly on my list, Schmidt. You can count on that."

"Maybe make a little room and throw a few vegetables down on that full plate of yours while you're at it," Schmidt added.

Nick continued down the hall and shook his head before disappearing into the bathroom. Winston nodded his head and turned to Schmidt.

"Well, that's encouraging. Guess our boy just needed a little time digest things."

"That's what it sounds like. Let's hope anyway."

* * *

About a half hour later, Nick emerged from his room, buttoning up a grey flannel as he walked into the living room. He looked around the loft and noticed that Winston and Schmidt had disappeared. He walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water as he heard the door to the loft open.

"What, did you guys try to catch up with those kids in the U-Haul? Did you try to get your money back or did you just try to score more sweet 'steals'?"

Nick absent-mindedly started moving towards the door before he was stopped dead in his tracks. All the air left his body as he was met with not Winston or Schmidt, but his other roommate, still clad in her pajamas, hair askew, and glasses hanging from her face.

"U-Haul? What kind of trouble are those two getting into now?" Jess asked, nervously.

Nick barely heard her. He hadn't laid eyes on her in over 24 hours, though it seemed much, much longer than that. Of course, in reality she looked absolutely no different, but for reasons he couldn't explain, she seemed to have a different air about her. Absence is said to make the heart grow fonder, he thought to himself, but in just over a day? An unsettling thought started to seep into his mind: if this is how being apart for one day affected him, what would two days do? A week? Two weeks? He was not prepared to think about that at this moment, however, so he quickly shut the thought out and focused on the task at hand: the formation of words.

"Yeah… um… Winston and… they…. Err..."

Jess tilted her head to the side and arched her seldom seen eyebrows, trying to make sense of Nick's ramblings.

"Schmidt's got apples," Nick blurted out.

"Schmidt's got… apples?" Jess repeated.

"And… carrots."

Jess' face spread into a broad smile, and a giggle escaped her lips.

"Schmidt's got apples and carrots? Weird," she said as she dropped her keys on the table by the doorway.

Something about that smile broke the tension inside of Nick, and after a deep breath, he regained his composure.

"Let me try that again," he offered. "I think Schmidt and Winston went to go talk to those kids that sell produce out of their van."

"Oh, I love those guys. I buy lipstick from them every so often. They get their hands on some really unique, hard to find shades."

"Makes sense," Nick said as he smiled bashfully and shoved his free hand in his pocket. "So…"

"So…"

They both stood, not really sure what to say. For a few moments they said nothing, and just looked at each other. And for a few moments, that was very much enough for each of them. But, after time, Nick became aware of the silence, and just a tiny bit uneasy with it.

"You and Cece get up to anything fun last night?"

"Not especially. For someone who rarely eats it, she does have surprisingly good taste in pizza, though," Jess said as she smiled and took a step towards Nick.

"Well, Cece's a sharp lass," Nick said, taking his own step towards Jess.

"A sharp lass?" Jess laughed. "I'll be sure to let her know my great-uncle thinks she's a 'sharp lass'."

"What.. what's...", Nick said, before just laughing it off.

"How about you. You get up to anything last night after we talked?"

"Went straight to bed, actually. Kind of a long couple days, you know."

"Yeah, you don't have to tell me," Jess said, taking another step until they were only about a foot apart.

"Jess, I…"

Nick's phone started beeping inside his pants pocket. He pulled the phone out and silenced it.

"Hey, I… actually have to get going. I have a doctor's appointment."

"A doctor's appointment," Jess said, concerned. "On a Sunday? What's up? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Jess. It's just a checkup. The doctor's a guy I met at the bar, and he's fitting me in today. That's all. Promise."

"If you say so."

"Hey," Nick said, softly grabbing her shoulder. "I want to finish our talk. I don't know how long this doctor stuff is going to take, but… will you be around later?"

"Of course. Got a little grading to catch up on. The kids had to write a brief bio on a 15th century explorer of their choosing, and I gotta try to make sure that they all weren't lifted straight from the internet."

"Kids today have it too easy."

"They really do," Jess smiled.

"Okay, then," Nick said, rubbing her arm. "We'll talk when I get back. Get this all… behind us."

"I'd like that."

"Alright, then. We're on the same page."

With that, Nick gave Jess' arm one last pat and headed towards the door. He opened it and stepped through, turning back before he shut the door behind him.

"I'll see you in a little bit."

"See ya," Jess said as the door shut. She sighed deeply, and rested her hand against the door. After a moment, she turned to head back to her room with the intention of readying for her own shower. As her eyes moved over the table by the door, she frowned as she noticed Nick's wallet sitting on top. She rolled her eyes, thinking it was a typical Nick thing to do. Bar friend or no, Nick was certain to need identification once he got to the doctor's office. Jess plucked the wallet from the table, opened the door, and started after Nick. She immediately heard him talking on the phone as he stood outside the elevator, waiting with his back to Jess.

"So wait, where is the apartment exactly? Right now I live right by where I work, near 800th and Transaction. I'm really, really not looking to commute 45 minutes every day, so if this place is too far out, it's just not going to work. I'll have to figure something else out."

Jess felt the wind knocked out of her as the elevator doors pinged and Nick stepped on, never noticing she was in the hall. As the doors closed, Jess turned back into the loft and shut the door behind her. She stepped to the right of the door, leaned back against the wall, and let her body slowly slide down until she was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees. She buried her face in her arms and sat for several minutes, trying to make sense of what she heard. She couldn't have been sure how long she had been sitting there when Winston and Schmidt returned.

"So, you see, by planting our own fresh basil on the roof, we'll end up saving several dozen dollars over the course of the calendar year," Schmidt said. "And it goes without saying, my pestos will be just absolutely killer."

"Hey, if you say so, Schmidt. I don't really…" Winston stopped, noticing Jess sitting on the floor. "Jess, what's wrong?"

Winston and Schmidt turned and knelt next to Jess. She fumbled to take her glasses off, and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her pajamas before looking up, eyes still filled with tears.

"Um.. I think…" she choked out. "I think Nick is moving out. I think… he's leaving us. Which means… I think he's leaving… me."


	5. Chapter 5

**Forgot to do it last time, so I just gotta just thank everyone again for the follows, favorites, and especially the comments. Some really, really kind feedback there. Truly appreciated. And 'poor, dumb babies'? To steal from my late grandmother, that just 'tickled' me. So accurate, too. Anyway, this one went a little longer than the rest, but there didn't seem to be a good place in the middle to break it into two. I hope you guys who take the time to read it enjoy. Thank you so much, as always.**

Schmidt and Winston looked at each other, confused.

"What are you talking about Jess? What would make you…" Winston started.

"I overheard him on the phone," Jess said. She sighed deeply and put her glasses back on. "He was leaving to go to his doctor's appointment or whatever, but surprise, surprise, he forgot his wallet. I went to give it to him, and I heard him on the phone."

"What did he say?" Schmidt asked.

"He didn't see me. He just… got on the elevator and left."

"What did you hear, then?" Winston asked.

"He was talking to somebody about some apartment. He said he didn't want it to be too far from where he works. He said he'd have to find another place or something."

Schmidt and Winston again looked at each other, confusion still on their faces.

"I just don't get it, you guys," Jess said, her voice breaking slightly. "Things were going so, so great. Then some guy kisses me, and now it's all… this?"

"Come on, Jess," Winston said, holding out his hands. "Let's get you some tea."

Jess hesitated a moment before frowning and taking Winston's hands. He helped her up as Schmidt got to his feet beside them. Winston slowly walked Jess to the couch as Schmidt ducked into the kitchen and got some water going for the tea. Jess sat down on the couch as Winston cleared a few glasses off the coffee table and went to take them to the sink.

"Hey Jess, what kind of tea do you want?" Schmidt called from the kitchen as Winston approached him.

"I don't know. Whatever's easiest.

"Well, I don't anticipate any of them posing much of a challenge," Schmidt said, shaking his head. He looked in the cupboard at Jess' tea selection. "What do you think, Winston? She's got, like, 14 different kinds of teas in here."

"Ooh, how about some Herbal Peach Bellini Blush," Winston said, excitedly.

"Sounds just delightful," Schmidt said, plucking a box from the cupboard. He set the box on the island and grabbed three mugs from the shelf.

"Hey, what do you make of this?" Schmidt asked, leaning in.

"I don't know, man. It doesn't make a ton of sense."

"I know, right?"

"Nick is crazy about her. I mean, I've never seen him like this."

"Well, maybe you just said it. Nick is crazy. Maybe that guy, that kiss… really messed him up."

"I dunno. That kind of makes some sad sense. But still. He was an idiot about Caroline, but this… this has been different."

"I know what you mean. Something's not adding up here."

"Alright, you get the tea all set. I'm gonna go...," Winston gestured towards Jess. He turned at started toward the couch. "Hey, Jess. Just gonna be…"

"Bring cookies," Jess called from the living room.

Winston took a quick look around, not seeing any cookies. He looked at Schmidt, who just shrugged. Finally, Winston spotted a box of Fig Newtons on top of the fridge. He pointed them out to Schmidt, who grabbed them and tossed them to Winston. He caught the box, and made his way over to where Jess was sitting, legs crossed and slouching back, her narrow frame nearly disappearing into the couch.

"Hey Jess," he said, as he took a seat next to her. "Schmidt and I were just talking, and there is just something here that doesn't make sense."

"None of this makes sense, Winston. I talked to him last night, and he didn't say anything. And when I saw him today, things just seemed… I dunno… better. Like things were going to be okay."

"And what did he say?"

"He didn't say anything about… anything really. He said he was looking forward to talking later, and then he ran off to his doctor's appointment. If there even is a doctor's appointment."

"I guess it isn't really like Nick to take care of himself like that. He broke his finger once in college, and he never even got it looked at. He just wanted to wait until it, and I'll use his exact words, 'went away'. But, you know. People can change, right?"

"I know people can change," Jess said, rubbing her head.

"Right," Winston said. He opened the box of Fig Newtons, pulled out a sleeve, and handed them to Jess, who took she sleeve and frowned.

"What is wrong with you, Winston?"

"Huh?"

"OK guys," Schmidt said, placing a tray with three mugs of tea down on the coffee table. "Now, I've done a lot of research on this, and I've read that optimum steeping time is approximately seven minutes. So. You can thank me later."

Jess just slowly blinked as Winston shook his head.

"Has Nick… said anything to you guys?" Jess said. "You know, about… us?"

"No, nothing."

"Not a thing."

"No, I guess he wouldn't have," Jess said, placing the Fig Newtons on the table and picking up a mug. "This whole thing just happened."

"Here's what I don't get," Schmidt started. "How is he going to afford to live on his own? I mean, even an efficiency in L.A. has got to be too rich for Nick's near gypsy blood."

"Right," Winston agreed. "And it's not like he's exactly in any shape to set out on his own. I mean, most of his stuff is our stuff. And, we've all seen his room."

"I usually try to avert my eyes," Jess said. "Just, you know… make a lot of eye contact."

"See," Schmidt said, lightly slapping Winston's chest. "You must've misheard him. It's not really feasible that our Nick can be moving out on his own."

Jess let a small smile pass her face. It only lasted a moment before she straightened up and breathed in deeply.

"But… what if he's not going to be on his own," she said. "He could live with other roommates. Look at me, I found you guys on Craigslist. I found you guys on Craigslist after… after Spencer cheated on me."

The words sat in the room for a moment as Jess hung her head. Schmidt and Winston gave each other an uncertain look.

"Jess," Schmidt said. "This is clearly not the same thing. You know it, and you know Nick knows it, too."

"Apples and oranges, Jess," Winston chimed in. "Not even the same ballpark."

"Geez, pick an idiom and stick with it, Winston," Schmidt said.

"Hey man, I'm just trying to help. Jess knows what I'm getting at."

"I'm sure she does. I'm just saying there was probably a more artistic and evocative way of putting it."

"Evocative?"

"Yeah, Evocative. It means…"

"I know what it means, Schmidt. What evocative idiom should I have used instead? The grass is always greener?"

"Winston, that's not even close. That's a whole different thing. To use your own trite phrase, it's not even the same ballpark."

"For the love…" Winston started. He looked over at Jess who was just staring into space. "Important thing is, Jess got what I was saying. Right Jess? What do you think?"

Jess pressed her lips together and nodded her head. She put her mug back down on the table, and slowly s stood up.

"I think I need to call Cece," she said. "Thanks, guys. But… I just… kind of need to talk to Cece right now."

Jess walked to her room, leaving Schmidt and Winston on the couch.

"So, what do you think? Life without Nick Miller?" Winston asked, grabbing his mug from the coffee table.

"I don't know. I can't believe he'd leave like this. Not without a conversation. He'd never do that to me."

"Or Jess?"

"Right. He'd never do that to Jess."

* * *

Nick sat in the waiting room, thumbing through an old issue of Highlights magazine. Every minute or so, he'd look up at the clock. He'd been waiting for over an hour, and he'd started to get antsy.

"Dammit, Goofus. Get it together," he muttered as he dropped the magazine on the empty chair beside him. Just then, the door opened and middle aged woman with blond hair and beige scrubs stepped out.

"Nick Miller?" she called, looking around the room.

"Right here," Nick said, standing up.

"This is a little irregular," she said. "But I've found an opening, so come right this way. Dr. Sweeney will be just a moment."

She ushered Nick through a narrow hallway and into a small room marked 'Exam Room 3'. Nick took a seat on the exam table, and took in his surroundings. One entire wall was a large mural of a bunch of cartoon children running happily from an old timey school house, just as class let out. On the wall opposite, there was another mural of a bunch of happily dopey farm animals. Nick keyed in on what appeared to be a girl bunny and a boy bunny, frolicking through a field. He tilted his head, looking closely at the scene, just as the door swung open.

"Nick Miller?" came the voice from outside the door. "What seems to be…"

The doctor walked in, wearing a long white lab coat and staring at the clipboard he held. He took two steps in and stopped in his tracks.

"Aw, crap. I knew this was going to happen."

"Dr. Sam," Nick said, awkwardly. "You're looking well. Tall as ever, I see."

"I knew that name was familiar," Sam said, closing the door behind him. "Okay, let's have it. You're officially pressing charges, right?"

"Charges?"

"Well, yeah. I assume you're going to be gunning for assault? Although, I gotta say man, I barely touched you. I'm not sure why you crumpled so quickly."

"I don't really remember it exactly as such. Besides, you've got like a foot on me, and I didn't know you were…." Nick felt himself getting worked up so he stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not here to press charges. I'm here to apologize. So, Dr. Sam, I'm sorry."

"Could you maybe not call me that? It's kind of weird coming from a grown man."

"I could see that."

Sam flipped through a few pages on his clipboard before moving past Nick and sitting on a stool to the right of the exam table.

"So," Sam started. "You're here to apologize. For what? Busting up me and Jess?"

"Yeah, well. I guess if you want to look at in those terms."

"You kissed her, we broke up. I'd say those terms are applicable."

"Hey, I was there, man. You broke up with her. She was pretty upset about it."

"Was she? That's not really how I remember it," Sam said, writing something on his clipboard.

"Really? Okay, how do you remember it, Dr. Sam?"

"Seriously, dude. Can we stop with that?"

"I'm trying, it just… kind of has a ring."

"Look, Nick. That whole day at the Indian Marriage… whatever. All Jess did was talk about you. Complain about you. Didn't even feel like I was there. And when she finally did come clean? She seemed… I dunno. She seemed sorry, but she also didn't seem sorry."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"Shocking," Sam said, standing up. "I asked her… when you kissed her… if she kissed back. I needed to know if it was just some guy getting a little forward with his roommate, or something else."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing. She didn't say anything. Not one thing. Which was basically all I needed to hear. Or... not hear, as it were. Again, I could tell she was sorry, but… she wasn't all the way sorry."

"Well, Dr.," Nick started. "Sorry. Sam… just Sam. I am all the way sorry. I wasn't really thinking about anything at the time, and I definitely wasn't thinking about you. And, for that, I am all the way sorry."

Sam looked and Nick and gave him a nod. He then furrowed his brow, and looked at him confused.

"Why now, Nick? Why come out here and apologize to me now?"

Nick put his hands in his pockets and hunched forward a bit, looking to the ground.

"Well, you might not believe this, but Jess and I... we're kind of together now."

"Of course you are. I assumed as much."

"Huh?" Nick said, as he looked up, surprised. "Why did you assume that?"

"Nick. I'm 6'4". I get paid six figures. I save lives for a living. Children's lives. I'm kind of a catch."

"I'd say that's accurate."

"I haven't heard a word from Jess since that day. Not one word, one call, one text, one email. Zero. I kind of thought… I dunno… she'd try to work things out. But she didn't. Quite the opposite, actually. So that's why I'm not surprised you guys are together. She felt bad about hurting me. She felt bad about how things went down. But… I'm not sure she was really actually 'sorry' that it happened."

Nick let Sam's words sink in as he sat on the exam room table. He'd never really asked himself why Jess never made an attempt to salvage her relationship with Sam. He started to wonder what else he hadn't taken into account.

"So, again, I ask you," Sam continued. "Why now? Why are you here now?"

"I… I sorta… saw her kissing another guy."

Sam raised his eyebrows and couldn't hide the smile that spread over his face.

"Well, now. Isn't that interesting," he said. "Can't say you don't deserve it."

"That's fair," Nick said, rubbing the back of his neck. "And now I know how it feels, and that's why I'm here apologizing."

Sam folded his arms and nodded, considering Nick's apology. After a moment, his posture relaxed as he looked at his watch.

"Well, thanks, I guess," he said, starting for the door. "You didn't' have to do that, so… thanks."

Sam walked to the door, opened it, and started to leave. He stopped just on the other side of the doorway, and turned back towards Nick.

"So what did she say?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"When you asked her about the kiss, what did she say?"

"Oh. Uh, she said it just happened. She said the guy just kissed her, it took her by surprise, and that she never wanted it to happen," Nick replied, standing up.

"Hmm. She said all that, huh?" Sam said, turning away from Nick to head down the hallway. "That's a lot more than I got. A lot more."

With that, Sam disappeared down the hall. Leaving Nick in the exam room where he found himself staring, again, at the bunnies in the mural.

* * *

Jess and Cece sat on the floor of Jess' room, their backs leaned against the foot of her bed. Jess had still yet to change out of her pajamas from two nights before, and Cece was uncharacteristically sporting a pair of black sweatpants and a grey t-shirt. Between them lay a half-eaten box of chocolate chip cookies that Cece had picked up on the way over.

"So, I don't understand," Cece said. "He's got a doctor's appointment? On a Sunday?"

"That's what he said," Jess replied before wiping some crumbs from the corner of her mouth. "But who knows, really? Could just be a cover to go check out his new digs."

"I'm having a hard time believing Nick is looking to move out. So quickly? It's just awful ambitious of him. I mean, this is Nick we're talking about."

"He can be strangely motivated at times. Maybe he just can't wait to get away from me."

"Jess."

"I don't know, Cece. Maybe he just can't get past this. Maybe he'll always just be this way. Maybe he'll never trust me."

"I don't know, Jess. Look at it from where he's coming from. He's been burned before, and you can identify with that, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you know what it's like to feel the need to protect yourself, right?"

"I guess."

"So, maybe he just needs a little more time to clear his head. You know how slow he can be sometimes."

"This is different, Cece. I just… expected more. I need more right now," Jess said nervously dragging her fingers over her knees. "We said we were 'all in'. That we were going to give this a serious shot. And here he is, giving up already?"

"You don't know that, Jess."

"Well it sure seems like it, doesn't it?" Jess said, her voice breaking with frustration.

"I don't know what it seems like. But I know you. Better than you know."

"What… what does that mean?"

"It means…" Cece stopped, a thought crossing her mind. "It means nothing, I guess. You know you and Nick better than I do."

"Thank you."

"So, what are you gonna say to him. You know, when he tells you he's leaving."

Jess' eyes got wide with surprise and she reflexively straightened up.

"I… I dunno, I guess."

"Well, are you going to try to talk him out of it? Probably not, right? I mean, if he's not 'all in' now, it seems unlikely that's going to change."

"Yeah."

"In the end, it might be better if he leaves. How uncomfortable would it be, right? Having your ex living four feet away from you?"

"Yeah, that would…"

"It won't be that bad, either. I'm sure the first few weeks will be rough. He might stop in every now and then to see Schmidt and Winston. And you guys will probably try to stay friends for a little while, but after a few months, that'll die off. Before you know it, you won't be seeing each other at all. And by then, this whole thing will be a distant memory."

"I know what you're doing Cece," Jess said, getting to her feet. "And I see where you're going."

"Well, I want you to think about this, Jess," Cece said, standing up herself. "I want you to realize where this ends if you guys don't figure this out. And Jess, I know you. And I know how… passive you can get about these things."

"Passive?"

"Yes, passive. Jess, do you want this thing with Nick to end?"

"No," Jess said, nervously playing with a stray strand of hair.

"Do you want him to move out?"

"No."

"Do you want to wake up one day, and just… not know him?"

"Of course not."

"Well, that's where this might be headed, Jess. How do you feel about that?

"OK, Cece, you've made your point."

"Have I, Jess? Because, it kinda sounds like you're just going to let another relationship end at the first sign of trouble."

"I don't…"

"You and Paul? Not on the same page? Done. One day you wake up and realize Russell isn't as passionate as you want him to be? Done. Sam doesn't fancy you kissing your roommate? Well, I can actually kind of see where he's coming from, but that's not…. The point is, once again, done without a fight. Are you just going to let that happen again?"

"No, I…"

"Yeah, you say that Jess, but I'm not sure."

"Come on, Cece."

"I mean, why change now? What's so special about this relationship? After all, it's only been, what, two months?"

"You know what's different. You know I…" Jess said, catching herself.

Cece folded her arms and waited for Jess to catch up with her own words. Jess took a deep breath and looked at Cece. After a moment, she tilted her head and squinted her eyes as it sunk in.

"You don't have to tell _me_, Jess," Cece said, smiling.

Jess bit her lip and shut her eyes hard before finally breaking the silence.

"Dammit."


	6. Chapter 6

**Cannot say it enough. Thank you so much for reading. I truly hope some of you enjoy it. The favorites, the follows, the reviews were more that I really anticipated. It really was so generous of you guys. Thank you again.**

Nick stepped onto the elevator and pushed the button for the fourth floor. He wasn't certain what was going to be waiting for him on the other side of the door to 4D, but he did know it was going to be a very different conversation than he anticipated when he left the loft that morning. It had turned out to be quite the day. He rubbed his eyes with his left hand before looking down at his right, where he was nervously fumbling with a new set of keys. He briefly considered pushing the hold button on the elevator to buy him some more time, but he had been rehearsing what he might say in his head for the previous hour, to no avail. He simply kept coming back to the same bullet points, and he had not found any way to appropriately dress what he wanted to say. Didn't seem an extra five, ten, or thirty minutes were likely to change that. The elevator pinged and he quickly shoved the keys into his pocket as the doors opened, revealing Schmidt, Winston, and Cece standing before him.

"Uh, what's up, gang?"

"Hey hey, Nick," Winston said, nervously. "We, uh, are just on our way to get some dinner."

"Dinner, huh" Nick said, frowning and nodding. "The three of you. Winston, and… you two? Together."

"That's the plan," Schmidt answered.

"That's cool. Where you guys going?"

"In-N-Out Burger," Winston answered before Schmidt or Cece could chime in.

"I see," Nick said, folding his arms. "That's strange. Schmidt, you never eat fast food. What do you call it? Horsemeat inject-"

"Horsemeat injected with muscle sucking, fat birthing poisons," Schmidt answered. "But hey, you know me. Always willing to try new things."

"That isn't you at all, but okay. What about you, Winston. Thought you hated In-N-Out Burger? Thought the secret menu was too confusing?"

"Why it gotta be a secret?" Winston said. "This is just a burger. If I wanted a brain teaser I'd do the jumble in the funny pages."

"I see, I see. So you guys know something's about to go down, and you're fleeing the scene, right?"

Schmidt and Winston hung their heads silently as Cece moved past Nick into the elevator. Nick turned and his eyes followed his roommates as they joined her. Cece pushed the button and looked pleadingly at Nick.

"Do yourself a favor, Nick? Don't be an idiot," she said with a sad smile as the doors began to close between them. "There is only one Jess."

Nick stood in front the elevator for a few moments, not moving. Finally he turned toward the loft and moved slowly towards the door. He paused, took a deep breath, and entered. The apartment was quiet. He first looked towards the bedrooms and saw that both he and Jess' doors were open, and the rooms dark. The living room was also empty. He finally spotted Jess sitting at the kitchen island, sipping a mug of tea. She had, not surprisingly, cleaned up since earlier in the day, and was no longer wearing the pajamas he had last seen her in. Instead, she was wearing a simple red dress, a black belt banding around her waist, while her bare legs led down to a pair of black flats with little black bows on them. He'd probably seen the dress before, but she had so many, it was hard to be certain. Her hair was mostly pulled back into a simple pony tail, but her bangs, of course, were present as ever. Her oversized glasses, however, were not, so there was nothing between Nick and her eyes. Eyes that were, today, as big and blue as he could remember. Seeing her caused a small panic inside of Nick, and he wondered if he was going to be able to say what he'd been practicing for the better part of the day. Just the sight of her knocked him off stride. Not that he should've been surprised.

"Hi, Nick," she said, placing her mug on the table.

"Hey, you're home."

"Yeah. You know, school night," she said with a nervous laugh. "How was your… appointment?"

"Very… informative. I'm glad I went."

"That a fact?" Jess said, traces of disappointment in her voice.

"Yeah. I normally don't like doctors. Truth be told, I didn't really like this one either. But… I learned a lot today."

"Nick?" Jess said, standing up.

"Yeah?"

"Can we just… get to it? Let's just get to it. About the other night… about us."

"Okay. Let's do it. Let's..."

"Nick, I know you didn't go get a checkup today."

Nick was stunned. Had Sam called Jess? Had someone seen him? He hadn't told anybody.

"You… you do, huh? How, may I ask?"

"It doesn't matter, Nick. What matters is we need to talk about this. Why didn't you just tell me? Why didn't you tell any of us?"

"Huh? What…"

"Nick, just be honest with me. Tell me. Where were you? Who did you really go see?"

"Okay, okay. I'll explain," Nick said, moving towards Jess until they stood about a foot apart. "I was really, really upset Jess. I saw that guy… his hands on you… his _face_ on you…I just… I couldn't deal."

"Yeah, but Nick…"

"Jess, please. Can I … just say what I have to say?" Nick asked gently.

"Of course," Jess said quietly. She inadvertently broke eye contact as she lifted her arms and wrapped herself in a small hug.

"Jess, I couldn't handle what I saw, okay? I know you said it was it was nothing, I know I should trust you. And I do, Jess, I do trust you. But… that just hurt so, so much. Seeing that? It was just the worst feeling I've had since… well… since my Dad died."

Jess looked at Nick and took note of the redness in his eyes. The sight of his tears made her realize it was unlikely she'd be able to hold her own back for very much longer.

"That sounds bad," Nick continued, "and it's a totally different thing. But that is how much it upset me, Jess. And I gotta tell you, it scared me. I don't want to be 'that guy', y'know?"

Jess nodded, blinking back her own tears. For the time being, she was keeping it together.

"So, I had to go talk to him, Jess. I had to go apologize. I had to… I dunno… hear his take on things, you know?"

"Nick," Jess said softly, thoroughly confused. "What are you…"

"That's why I lied. Well, sort of lied. He is a doctor, after all, and I technically did meet him at the bar."

"Nick, what are you talking about?"

"My visit with Dr. Sam…wait… who… who are you…" the realization that they were not talking about the same thing quickly took hold of Nick. "Oh boy."

"You… you went to see… Sam?"

"Yeah, Jess. I went to see Sam. What were you talking about? Where did you think…"

"One thing at a time, Nick," Jess said wiping her forehead, exhaustedly. "Why did you go see Sam?"

"Because. He was the first person I could think of that… that's been through something like this."

"What are you talking about?"

"He's the first person I could think of that knows… that knows what it's like to feel that he might be losing you, Jess. And I needed to talk to him to…"

"To what, Nick? Compare notes?"

"Jess, it's not…"

Jess turned from Nick to gather herself for a moment.

"Look, Jess. If someone like Sam… a handsome, successful, _doctor_ like Sam… if he can lose you, then what does that mean for a guy like…"

"Enough, Nick," Jess said, turning to face him. She slowly moved in on him, until she was close enough to reach up and fumble with the front of his flannel shirt. She looked up at him, her eyes determined, and took a deep breath.

"It's different with you, Nick. You need to know that. You can't not know that. Sam was a good guy, but it was different. Nick," Jess looked down, working up the last of her courage. "It was different with Sam… because… I just... I…"

Jess closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking back up at him.

"Nick, it was different because I wasn't in…"

"Jess, I can't let you finish that sentence," Nick blurted out.

Jess' hands fell from Nick's shirt and the color instantly drained from her face. She felt slightly dizzy, and her eyes couldn't seem to find anything to focus on.

"Jess, look. I think I know where you're going, but I just… I can't let you. I'm sorry, I can't let you say it."

The tears she'd been holding back didn't come. She quite simply went numb. She looked up at Nick, resigned to what was to come. Nick grabbed her hands gently, and held them to his chest.

"I can't let you say it Jess, because… because you deserve to hear it from me first."

After a brief moment of confusion, Jess' lips began to tremble, and the tears she thought had abandoned her returned to glass over her eyes completely. She looked at Nick.

"Jess. You're a beautiful woman, and my life hasn't been the same since I met you. And I… cannot imagine my life without you. These past few months? I don't have the words," Nick continued, smiling. "I don't think the right words actually exist. Because 'I love you' isn't enough, Jess. 'I love you' doesn't begin to cover it. But… I don't have the words, so for now, it'll just have to do."

Nick blinked his eyes quickly to clear away his own tears that had started to gather around the edges.

"I love you, Jess. I love you in a way I just…didn't know existed. And I want…"

Jess had heard enough. She dropped Nick's hands and reached up to his face, pulling it down to hers as she stood up on her toes. She never broke eye contact until their lips met. After a long, slow kiss, she let go of his face and allowed her heels to fall back to the floor. She smiled up at Nick, and slowly caressed his chest.

"Can I say it now?" Jess asked, biting her lip to help hold back a giggle.

"Oh, were you going to say something, too?"

The giggle escaped Jess and she bashfully turned away for a moment to gather herself before turning back.

"I know what you mean. About not having the words? Because… I love you… and you're right. Those words kind of…don't seem like enough."

"Well then… say it again," Nick said, smiling.

Jess put her arms around Nick's neck and smiled through her still glassy eyes. "I love you, Nick."

Nick took a moment to enjoy the words. He stood, staring at Jess, as a thought crept into his mind.

"You know what, Jess? Saying the words? Maybe that doesn't seem like enough. But… hearing them? That's actually pretty…"

"Amazing?"

"Well, I was just going to say 'neat', but that works."

"Really, Nick? Neat?"

"Yeah, you don't think it's neat?"

Jess just smiled for a moment and looked at Nick.

"Yeah. Yeah I think it is pretty neat."

They stood for several moments, just looking at each other. It had been the first time in days that they had been together, that they had been okay. Suddenly, Jess was struck by a thought.

"Hey, what about your new apartment?"

"Wait, what? You know about the apartment?"

"Yeah," Jess said, taking a step back. "Yeah, I actually thought that was where you were all this time."

"Well, I was there some of the time. Wait a minute, how do you know about the apartment?"

Jess looked down nervously. She hadn't done anything wrong, but she still felt a little guilty about overhearing his conversation.

"I heard you on the phone as you were leaving today. About how you didn't want the apartment to be too far away from work. So… is it? Is it too far from work? Tell me it's too far from work."

Nick folded his arms and frowned a bit. He nodded his head before reaching into his pocket and producing the keys. He held them in his hand and showed them to Jess.

"Well, there is an apartment," he said. "And it is not too far from work. But Jess, you got the wrong idea. As weird as it is to live with your girlfriend from day one, I'm not going anywhere Jess. Not sure I could leave you if I tried."

"Then what was that phone call about? And what are these keys?"

"I got a call from my mom the other day. Apparently she was going over some stuff of Dad's, and she came across something… interesting."

"What's up?"

"Turns out my Dad owned a small apartment building not far from here."

"An apartment building?"

"It's really small, Jess. Just three units. But… yeah. I'm not sure how he came to own it. Maybe he won it in a card game, maybe he used it to peddle knockoff handbags, I don't know that I'll ever know. But apparently the deed is legit. It was his property."

"Nick, what does this all mean? What does it have to do with you?"

"Well, my Dad left everything to my Mom, including this apartment. But she's in Chicago, and she isn't going anywhere. So… she wants to give it to me."

"Come again," Jess said, her mouth dropping open.

"Yeah. I went over there to take a look and get the keys. It's a real hole about twenty minutes from here, but… it's mine if I want it."

"That's great! I mean, isn't that great?"

"Well, it's…. it's something, alright. Something to think about, anyway."

"So, what do you think so far?"

"I don't know, Jess. I was kind of preoccupied, you know? With… you. With us."

Jess blushed and smiled, moving in close. She put her arms around Nick and put her head on his chest and shoulder.

"But," he continued. "There are some different options. I could just sell it outright. Not worth much, but it's something…"

"Or?"

"Or I could, I dunno. Maybe… fix it up, then sell it? Maybe fix it up a little bit and rent it out? I don't really know. I literally haven't had time to think about it."

Jess squeezed Nick tighter before she lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him.

"So you're not leaving?"

"No. I'm not going anywhere."

"Well… I'm sure Schmidt will be quite relieved," Jess said with a smile. "Really was quite a day for you, huh?"

Nick smiled back down at her. He raised his hands, cupped her face, and stared deep into her eyes. Eyes that still made him weak in every joint in his body.

"Actually, Jess, I'd say it's been quite a 'last two and a half years'."

Nick gave Jess a small squeeze before pulling his head back a bit and looking down at her. She smiled back up at him.

"You ready for bed?" she asked.

"Always," he answered.

They loosened their embrace and started moving, arm in arm, towards Jess' room.

**So... that's probably kind of it. I've really, really enjoyed writing this. Wasn't all smooth sailing, and there is certainly room for improvement, but that's half the point, right? I guess there are some storylines there I could toy with in the future that have been set up here if I want to pick it back up, so who knows. Maybe there's more to be done here. But honestly, I kind of like a little drama between Nick and Jess. So if I write anything else, that's probably going to be part of the equation more often than not. I said it before but I can't say it enough. Thanks for reading!**


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